Almost, Your Kiss
by caeli1701
Summary: Alec can't sleep.
**Notes:** So this is like...fluff with erotic undertones, in which Alec has no chill when it comes to Magnus. I may continue this as a fluff/smut series, Idk. I do have more ideas and I really enjoyed writing this.

This ficlet takes place about a month after the events of 1x13. Title inspired by the poem "I Have Found What You Are Like" by E.E. Cummings.

* * *

Alec couldn't sleep, even though he was exhausted.

Jace was finally home, and things were slowly going back to normal- or as normal as they could be post the-wedding-that-wasn't, with Valentine still out there- and yet, he couldn't seem to find any peace of mind. He couldn't relax.

He could just hear Isabelle's voice if she could see him right now: _are you actually allergic to good news?_

For weeks they'd been chasing father and son, battling Valentine's horrific creations, following clues that led nowhere, and always, always fearing the worst for their brother. Now that Jace was back and their biggest fears were unjustified, Alec felt as if he had too much anxious energy built up with nowhere left to spend it. Which was ridiculous- he'd trained until he thought he'd collapse earlier that day (and he almost had collapsed in the shower afterward). But here he was at 2 in the morning, sore and tired and utterly sleepless.

Thunder rumbled in the distance; there was a storm somewhere not too far away. Usually Alec found the sound soothing but tonight it only added to his sense of restlessness. The thunder in the dark felt like anticipation, like something was about to happen.

Sighing deeply, Alec forced his eyes shut and rolled onto his back. He tried to think only of peaceful things, like clouds or waves on a beach, but inevitably Magnus Bane appeared behind his eyes instead, bright and beautiful and larger than life.

Since they'd met it had been difficult to think of anything else, if Alec were honest with himself. And he was trying to be honest with himself from here on out.

Like he had every day since it'd happened, he went over the wedding again in his mind. Tonight, though, he was too exhausted to dwell on the life-affirming choice he'd made, or the fact that he'd finally taken what he wanted for himself. Even the uncertain future he faced now that his biggest secret was out barely made him twitch. Instead, he indulged himself and only thought about the kiss. Remembered the feel of Magnus' mouth, his breath, his taste, the scent of his skin and the urgent press of his hands on Alec's waist... it was all just as clear and immediate in his mind as if it had just happened and it lit him up instantly, like striking a match to dry tinder. Heat poured over him and his heart started tripping over itself like it had somewhere to be.

It was too much; valiantly he tried to force his mind away from the kiss and the hunger it awakened. He did not want to become aroused right now, he just wanted to go to sleep. If he kept reliving it- kept thinking about _him_ \- he definitely would end up in a state in which he'd have to take care of it, and he'd already been doing _that_ too much lately as it is. Which was probably creepy, Alec thought, but he wasn't sure. He didn't know what the rules were here; he was flying blind.

And anyway Magnus had said… you know, that thing about the arrows. Maybe it wasn't so creepy if he had permission?

Alec stared at the ceiling.

Well, _that_ thought certainly wasn't helping.

He breathed out in frustration and turned over on his side, trying not to think about Magnus at all. Immediately his mind jumped to Magnus anyway, to the way he'd seemed to glow with happiness after their kiss, after Alec had chosen his true self- and Magnus- in front of everyone. And then his gleeful chatter about their date- their _first_ date, which they had yet to go on because of everything that had happened afterwards.

Despite all the uncertainty he still felt, all his fears and insecurities, and the as-yet-undealt-with issue of immortality that Alec couldn't bear thinking about, he still wanted that date like he wanted air.

On the other hand, he'd happily settle with just being in the same _room_ as the warlock right now. Even though they'd seen each other a handful of times since the wedding, it had mostly been crisis-related or in the company of others, and they'd had almost zero time alone to talk beyond a stolen word or two, a quick clasp of hands and a meaningful glance. Alec realized suddenly that he missed Magnus, apart from everything else. He missed his humor and his wicked mouth, his kindness and cleverness and the way he lit up a room just by being in it… Alec just missed _him_ , very badly.

Alec sat up in bed, covering his face with his hands. He'd been so stupid. _Of course_ that was it- that was the real reason he couldn't sleep. It wasn't anxiety or stress, it wasn't even _mostly_ anxiety or stress- it was just that he missed Magnus Bane. Now that their immediate emergency had passed all of Alec's stamped-down wants were surging forward again with a vengeance.

 _Don't be so pathetic about him_ , Alec tried to rein himself in. _You barely know each other, you're not…_

But Alec couldn't find it in himself to listen to that voice tonight; it had been leading him into unhappiness his entire life. Instead he followed the rest of him and blindly reached for his phone on the nightstand. When he found it he thumbed through his contacts in the dark until he found Magnus' number.

Better text, Alec thought. Magnus was probably asleep and he didn't want to wake him- although Magnus had told him before to call at anytime for anything- emphasis on _anytime_ and _anything_.

Alec swallowed hard and screwed up his courage. Before he lost his nerve he typed:

 _-Are you awake?_

And pressed send.

There was nothing for maybe a full minute and a half, and Alec told himself it had been stupid to expect Magnus to be awake. Then his phone chimed softly. Magnus had replied with:

 _-For you I am_

Alec huffed a laugh into the quiet. How did Magnus manage flirting at 2 in the morning? And how had Alec ever captured his attention in the first place? It was all still a mystery to him.

Magnus sent another text right after the first:

 _-Is something wrong?_

Always expecting a crisis. Well, Alec couldn't say he blamed him. There had been nothing but for an entire month.

 _-No. I just can't sleep_

 _-Any particular reason?_

 _-Lots of them_

 _-Can I help?_

Alec struggled with himself for another full minute before honesty won out, as it usually did with him. He typed his next sentence slowly and deliberately, his cheeks hot.

 _-I want to see you._

There was nothing at the other end of the line for what felt like hours before Magnus replied.

 _-Picture? Video chat?_

Only the real thing would do right now, Alec thought with some urgency. His fingers hovered over the letter keys, uncertain how to ask. The request felt so selfish. But Magnus sent another text before he could decide what to say; as always, Magnus seemed to be able to read Alec instinctively.

 _-Do you want me to come to you or would you like to come here?_

Alec breathed a sigh of relief; he hadn't realized he'd been breathing so shallowly before.

 _-I'll come to you?_

Better give himself time to get himself together, Alec thought.

 _-I'll be waiting_

Alec flew out of bed, suddenly energized. He dressed quickly in the dark, then brushed his teeth again even though he'd brushed them right before bed. He gave his reflection a quick assessment- his hair was a little wild and his eyes bloodshot but otherwise he decided he looked the same as usual- which was to say, rather basic, but Magnus seemed to see something different when he looked at Alec, so at the moment he found he didn't care. He just wanted to see his- he just wanted to see Magnus.

Pulling on a jacket, Alec pocketed his seraph blade, stele, phone, and wallet, then debated with himself whether or not to call a cab. In the end he decided he could get there faster on foot; he didn't want to wait around for a cab anyway. Now that he knew what he wanted he couldn't sit still.

Hastily he scribbled a note to Isabelle telling her where he'd gone, then he shoved his boots on and slipped out of the Institute as unobtrusively as he could.

The night air was thick and warmer than he expected, but it felt good in his lungs. He quickly fell into a light jog towards Magnus' apartment, his training keeping his breathing even as he flew over the pavement. His sore muscles pulled in protest, but he ignored them.

Halfway to Magnus,' Alec heard thunder again, much closer than before.

Three-quarters of the way there, it was like someone had taken a knife to the clouds. Rain poured down suddenly, heavy fat drops with no light rain preceding it. It was unexpectedly cold; Alec was damp and shivering by the time he buzzed himself up into Magnus' building.

 _Dammit,_ he thought with some embarrassment. He was going to look ridiculous and he'd be dripping rainwater all over Magnus' nice floors. He'd have to ask for a towel. Alec sighed at himself.

The doors to Magnus' apartment opened before Alec even had to touch them, but he didn't see Magnus anywhere. He'd been expecting the warlock at the bar with a drink in hand, or maybe draped over his chair like a king on a throne.

"Magnus?"

"In here!"

Alec followed the sound of his voice past the living room into what he realized with some surprise was a kitchen. Somehow, the idea of Magnus even owning a kitchen had never crossed his mind- Magnus seemed to exist on alcohol alone. But of course even warlocks needed to eat-

 _Oh._

Alec froze in the doorway. Magnus was there by the counter, and he was pouring what looked like herbal tea into a small tea cup. But Alec barely registered the shock of Magnus holding a non-alcoholic beverage- all his attention was arrested on Magnus himself.

He wasn't wearing any makeup or jewelry; his hair was only inky black, unstyled and soft and loosely tucked behind his ear. This already made him look more naked than Alec had ever seen him- but the effect was compounded by the fact that he was barely wearing any clothing. His tight chest and stomach were exposed between the lapels of a thin, diaphanous robe the color of honey, open and drifting material to the backs of his thighs. Beneath that, all he wore was a pair of dark pink silk shorts. He wasn't even wearing shoes.

He looked up and smiled brightly at Alec, seemingly oblivious to the devastating effect he was having on him.

"Alexander! Come in."

For a blind second, Alec had an almost hallucinatory fantasy. He could see himself walking over to Magnus and calmly taking the tea out of his hands, setting it aside just before dragging that ridiculous man to him by the lapels of that ridiculous robe, and just… just _taking_ him. His mouth, his skin, his hands and his hair and _god_ , he wanted to pull off all his clothes and push him up against the wall and then-

Alec swayed breathlessly for a moment, like the hunger had literally socked him in the gut.

"I made tea," Magnus was saying cheerfully, as if he was proud of himself. " _Without_ magic- magic tea is terrible. This is my own special blend, it will help you sleep. Are you cold? I heard the rain and knew you'd show up looking like that- you should have called a cab or let me open a portal. Do you want me to…?" He made a graceful motion with his naked hands, indicating a spell. "I can dry you off?"

Alec stared at him like he didn't understand.

"…Or there are towels in the bathroom, of course," Magnus offered, sounding less certain than before.

Alec had to clear his throat twice before he could get any words out. "I…I'll just use a towel," he croaked.

Who knew what he'd do if Magnus touched him with his _magic_ right now.

Magnus shrugged, a half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he refocused on the tea tray- there were little cookie-things on it, too.

Alec found himself saying lamely, "I hope I didn't wake you up."

"You did, actually," Magnus said. "But I was very happy to wake up for this."

"Oh. Okay. Good."

He had to force himself to turn around and leave the kitchen for the bathroom.

Once he'd safely closed himself inside, he stared at the sink blankly for a very long moment. He thought maybe he should splash cold water over his face or something, but he was literally already covered in cold water, so… what was there left to do? His reflection didn't have any answers. He just looked vaguely unhinged, all red cheeks and bloodshot eyes feverishly bright. The storm raging outside felt more like himself than he looked.

 _God,_ he was tired. Tired and turned on and nervous. He leaned against the sink, overwhelmed, and tried to wait it out.

Eventually his blush- and his problem below the belt- cooled enough that he started shivering again, and he was able to snap out of it, at least mostly. He took a fluffy white towel out of the closet and dried his face and hair with it. He took off his wet jacket, too, and hung it in the shower to drip-dry. He tried not to linger over the luxurious claw-footed tub or the dual-headed shower as he did so; it was way too easy to imagine Magnus in them.

Bracing himself, Alec took a deep breath and left the bathroom to find Magnus curled up on the couch, cradling a steaming teacup in both hands. Alec was stunned all over again by the sight of him. This was Magnus loose and natural and unguarded- this was sleepy, soft, nighttime Magnus. Intimate Magnus.

Alec felt another surge of feelings, equally as strong as the desire had been: pride and happiness, that Magnus trusted him enough for this- and possession, because he wanted to keep this Magnus for himself alone.

"Better?" Magnus asked.

Alec nodded mutely and hesitated. Should he sit on the couch with Magnus, or the armchair? The chair was definitely safer, but he didn't want Magnus to think he was afraid of him or something. And he wanted… he wanted to be close to him. But, then again, he wanted to be _too_ close to him, and that-

 _Oh my god, get a grip._

Alec swallowed and sat on the couch, leaving about three feet of space separating them. His back felt weirdly stiff.

"You look exhausted. Here, have some, it'll warm you up," Magnus graciously handed him a cup of tea, asking him whether he wanted sugar or honey or not. It all felt very surreal. Alec shook his head and accepted the golden-colored drink, their fingers brushing softly as he did so. Alec had to stare at the teacup to keep from staring at Magnus.

For the first time he noticed how beautiful the set was- it was silver and ornate, clearly very old and very expensive. He wondered where it had come from.

"If you don't like it, of course I could also make us a nightcap-" Magnus offered into the silence. "There's wine, port, vodka, rum, tequila- anything you want. And there's hot chocolate, coffee…"

Alec smiled a little and shook his head again. He realized that this was Magnus' version of awkward. "I like tea," he said.

"I thought you might."

Alec cautiously took a sip. It was just on the right side of too hot, and it tasted delicious. No herbs he could identify except possibly mint. He closed his eyes and took a deeper drink of it, feeling the warmth go through him all the way down to his toes. When he opened his eyes again, he found Magnus watching him over the rim of his teacup.

"Good?"

"Yeah."

Magnus' couch faced his largest window, and outside the rain was lashing the glass and pulling light down from the sky in brilliant flashes over the city. Alec could feel the tension gradually leave his body as he watched, sipping his tea. His fatigue was rapidly catching up with him. Here with Magnus in the warm quiet, listening to the rain, he finally felt the knot in his stomach loosen and fade away. His eyelids began to feel heavy, and it wasn't long before he found himself slumping back into the plush couch cushions.

The air smelled so good in this place, Alec thought fuzzily. Probably because it smelled like Magnus, kind of like ozone and electricity, like the storm, but sweeter, cleaner, like the way his mouth tasted…

Magnus waved a hand, dimming the lights to near-darkness. He made like he was about to get up.

"Wait," Alec protested sleepily. "I missed you. I wanted to talk to you."

"I know," Magnus said. He sounded so genuinely _happy_ just then- Alec had to open his eyes to see his face.

Magnus was smiling to himself, softly glowing like he had after the kiss, and his eyes were a brilliant yellow-green in the dark. He looked unearthly, and so beautiful he made Alec's chest ache.

"We can talk in the morning," Magnus offered hopefully. "Maybe over breakfast?"

Alec nodded. That sounded really, really nice.

"Good," Magnus stood up, taking Alec's empty teacup out of his limp fingers and placing it on the tray.

"Wait," Alec said again. He didn't want Magnus to leave. He reached out and caught Magnus' wrist, tugging him closer. Magnus let himself be pulled until he sank down on the couch right next to Alec, his body unreasonably warm against his.

"Sleep with me," Alec said. He was too tired and too warm to be embarrassed, though even in his haze he knew how it sounded.

Magnus huffed a little laugh, as if he couldn't resist that opening. "I've been _trying."_

Alec grinned, too, his eyes slipping shut again without his permission. He didn't tell Magnus how close he'd come to doing exactly that in the kitchen earlier.

After a moment he felt something electric and familiar tug his boots off- Magnus' magic, he'd recognize it anywhere. Then strong, gentle hands guided him sideways into the couch so he was lying down, his legs lifted up with the rest of him. Stretching out felt good. A cotton blanket seemed to float over and descend on him like a cloud. More magic.

But, Magnus still wasn't close enough.

Alec muttered a sleepy request.

"Are you sure?" Magnus asked softly.

Alec nodded.

There was another moment of hesitation, then Alec felt his warlock slip under the blanket with him, tentatively curling up under his chin with one hand over his chest. Alec wrapped his arms around him in return. The embrace felt so natural and easy, like they'd done it a thousand times before, and Magnus was so, so warm... Alec pulled him in even closer so he could feel his heartbeat against his side, breathing in the scent of his hair. He hadn't realized how much he'd needed this until he had it; it was like he'd been in pain until now.

"Thank you," Alec sighed.

Just before he fell sleep, he felt a light touch on the corner of his mouth. A kiss.

"Goodnight, Alexander."


End file.
